I think I have heard every excuse under the sun to not exercise ranging from "I have no time" or "I cant get to a gym" or "I have sand in my vagina" and in all honesty, everyone of these are lame excuses given by lazy gimps who in truth do not want to better themselves or at the very least save themselves from obesity and not being able to walk to the toilet in the twilight years.
People seem to forget that the benefits of exercise go way beyond aesthetics and looking awesome with your clothes off.
So for this post I have some DIY Fitness that jackhammers all the crap excuses (apart from sand in the vagina in which i recommend the doctors)
Here are some exercises that can be done in the house and take hardly any equipment and or any space or time.
First of all we will start with the standard body weight moves that everyone knows.
- Press Up - One of the greatest moves of all time. People fail to realise that while doing a press up you are actually working your core as well (moving plank?) Now besides the standard press up there are literally hundreds of variations that work different parts of the chest, shoulders, triceps and even the glutes such as divebombers, spiderman, diamond, Plyometric and many more.
- Dips - Can be done on pretty much anything such as the couch, a table, a chair, the toilet pan. Again there are a few variations such as one handed dips.
- Pull Ups - The king of bodyweight moves. This works pretty much your whole upper body and is a great test of strength. I do these by opening up my front door and there is a ledge up above it and just repping out pull ups. Im sure everyone has a ledge of some sort in their house.
- Squats - Again a great move that requires no space at all. Few variations to this as well such as Jump Squats, Squat Holds, 180 degree Jump Squats.
- Lunges - Requires a little bit of space if you want to do walking lunges but if not these will destroy your legs and especially work your hamstrings and bum. You can do jumping lunges where you jump as you switch your legs.
- Plank - In my opinion this is the daddy of abs moves and can be done in many different ways such as switching from elbows to hands and back to elbows as fast as you can, can do it where your arms are raised on the bed or a chair or you can do it where one arm is raised and the opposite leg is raised.
Now onto some moves that you may not have heard of.
- Farmers Walk - This can be done by getting two mop buckets with handles and filling them up with water to a desired weight. Holding both by your side in each hand and then just do laps up and down your hall. This is a great full body move and is great for the core muscles.
- Stair Crawl - If you have access to stairs then get on all fours and without your knees touching the ground crawl up the stairs. When you get to the top crawl down backwards. Repeat. You will be amazed how torched your shoulders and triceps get with this.
- Crab Walk - Lie down on your back and prop yourself up so your facing the ceiling. With your hands and feet on the floor walk the way a crab would and do laps up the floor going forwards and then backwards. Doesnt sound very difficult but it is.
- Lunge to Deadlift - Lunge forward and then with the opposite leg bring it up behind you as you stand back up and touch the floor with the opposite hand. Repeat with other leg.
- Stand From Lying Down - An abs move that is so much harder than it looks. Put your feet under a sturdy object and from lying down just roll yourself up and stand up. This will engage your core in ways that a crunch wont and it also strengthens your back in the process.
These are just a few moves that can be done with just a little bit of experimenting and thought. There are probably millions more out there and you can even make up some of your own.
Who needs a gym when you can go to a park or better still do it in your own home.
There are no excuses!!!!
Monday, 4 July 2011
Saturday, 2 July 2011
"Can I just have the plate of spinach waiter?"
To maintain a healthy lifestyle or to create that bitchin body you have to get your nutrition nailed and this seems to be the hard part for most people and theres one reason.
DIETS ARE STUPID!!!
Alot of people will disagree with me on this but when the word "diet" comes up when talking about fitness you instantly see peoples arses collapsing.
This is because there is a stigma attached to the word diet and many people think they are going to have to ditch all the good stuff and live off of pureed vegetables and shit tons of chicken.
This may be the case for the person who is looking to be 5% body fat but for the average beach goer this is just not what they signed up for.
I have seen some crazy diets over the years and here are just a few:
- The apple and orange diet - Nothing but apples and oranges? Firstly with the amount of sugars you would be bouncing about like a mental patient on speed, secondly you would be starving and thirdly can you imagine the state of your toilet after that? no thanks.
- Breatharians - Nothing but air. This maybe a good idea to some but im sure a fair few Ethiopian villages would disagree as they are fucking dying!! 15 big breaths and im stuffed. Idiots
I think for most people nutrition is the sticking point when it comes to achieving the goals that they have set and this is purely because it is hard to maintain it. All the fitness magazines will tell you that you need to eat this and take this supplement or you will be a fat fuck no matter how much you exercise. Again this is fine for fitness models but does the average joe have time for this or the money? I think not.
Making sure you eat healthy is the way forward and that doesnt mean starving yourself or staying away from some foods and being ultra strict. It means making sure you are getting good protein sources, good carbs (if your body can handle them), your 5 portions of fruit and veg, good fats and drinking plenty of water. If you decide that at the weekend you are going out and you are going to eat at a restuarant then do it!
Dont be one of the dicks that moans at their partner because "I cant eat that" not only is it a sure fire way to get dumped but it also makes you a prisoner in your own body.
Dont kick the arse out of it and destroy the buffet but a dessert or a plate of pasta will not kill you so stop moaning and just enjoy yourself.
Its a simple equation really
Exercise + healthy eating + having a treat every now and again = happy and not fat.
It is not rocket science but it amazes me how complicated people make it
DIETS ARE STUPID!!!
Alot of people will disagree with me on this but when the word "diet" comes up when talking about fitness you instantly see peoples arses collapsing.
This is because there is a stigma attached to the word diet and many people think they are going to have to ditch all the good stuff and live off of pureed vegetables and shit tons of chicken.
This may be the case for the person who is looking to be 5% body fat but for the average beach goer this is just not what they signed up for.
I have seen some crazy diets over the years and here are just a few:
- The apple and orange diet - Nothing but apples and oranges? Firstly with the amount of sugars you would be bouncing about like a mental patient on speed, secondly you would be starving and thirdly can you imagine the state of your toilet after that? no thanks.
- Breatharians - Nothing but air. This maybe a good idea to some but im sure a fair few Ethiopian villages would disagree as they are fucking dying!! 15 big breaths and im stuffed. Idiots
I think for most people nutrition is the sticking point when it comes to achieving the goals that they have set and this is purely because it is hard to maintain it. All the fitness magazines will tell you that you need to eat this and take this supplement or you will be a fat fuck no matter how much you exercise. Again this is fine for fitness models but does the average joe have time for this or the money? I think not.
Making sure you eat healthy is the way forward and that doesnt mean starving yourself or staying away from some foods and being ultra strict. It means making sure you are getting good protein sources, good carbs (if your body can handle them), your 5 portions of fruit and veg, good fats and drinking plenty of water. If you decide that at the weekend you are going out and you are going to eat at a restuarant then do it!
Dont be one of the dicks that moans at their partner because "I cant eat that" not only is it a sure fire way to get dumped but it also makes you a prisoner in your own body.
Dont kick the arse out of it and destroy the buffet but a dessert or a plate of pasta will not kill you so stop moaning and just enjoy yourself.
Its a simple equation really
Exercise + healthy eating + having a treat every now and again = happy and not fat.
It is not rocket science but it amazes me how complicated people make it
Friday, 24 June 2011
Training Methods and other shit excuses
In the many years that I have been exercising I think I have tried every workout programme there is and tried every type of gym and I have found that they all have something in common. They all suck!
I have tried strength training, body part split training, volume training, circuit training. You name it I have tried it and after writing up a big elaborate training programme and swear that this time I have found the programme for me....
..Two weeks later I am bored and want to change it all up again so I scrawl through the internet & fitness manuals to devise this perfect workout and the cycle repeats itself.
By way of magic or a kick to the head I have seen clarity with regards to fitness, training and even diet.
Through out this blog I am not going to tell you what the perfect training programme is or what the perfect exercise is or what the best foods are to eat because to put it simply the answer is not there and I believe that it never was.
I have found through years of experience that I absolutely 100% detest the gym and everything that goes along with it.
Close your eyes and picture the last time you were in the gym, enclosed in a room, sweating and breathing in everyone elses body odour and sneaky flatulence, you are knee deep in your 100th set of squats and there are dudes high fiving each other over at the dumbbell rack, the music is blaring out whatever nonsense the chart is bothering us with and there are the huge guys in the cut off tshirts sniggering at you because you are just simply not lifting a heavy enough weight. Sound good?
Now again close your eyes and picture the last time you went to a local park to do pull ups on the monkey bars, the last time you got on your bike and cycled through the country, the last time you hit the water with your surfboard and enjoyed the waves, the time that you decided to go a run along the beach or in the snow with your dog or that time when you thought it would be a great idea to climb that tree?
Do you remember the feeling of freedom, the feeling that you could not give a flying fuck about how many sets you had left or that you had to beat your friends personal best on the deadlift, the feeling of being outside and knowing that this is exercise but how could it be because I am outside and not talking shit about "feeling the pump"
What I have came to realise over the last few days is that exercise can have a way of taking over your life, you become obsessed with bench pressing more or learning to kick some ones ass in the ring or even to look like some dick from Jersey Shore to impress the ladies.
Now dont get me wrong looking good is a part of what we strive for when we exercise but we have become so obsessed with it that we have forgotten along the way that it is supposed to be fun and there is way more to life than slogging through the new routine that you found in Meat Head Weekly.
Really, what I am trying to say is that there are hundreds of ways to stay fit and looking good and it doesnt involve weight racks, Smith Machines or paying some douche bag personal trainer 40 pounds an hour to put you on a treadmill and tell you that you are now in the fat burning zone.
Maybe lifting weights so heavy that you shit yourself works for you but I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt it aint mine and over the course of this blog I think ill continue trying to find new ways of dodging gym memberships vultures and maybe do other stuff thats fun.
I have tried strength training, body part split training, volume training, circuit training. You name it I have tried it and after writing up a big elaborate training programme and swear that this time I have found the programme for me....
..Two weeks later I am bored and want to change it all up again so I scrawl through the internet & fitness manuals to devise this perfect workout and the cycle repeats itself.
By way of magic or a kick to the head I have seen clarity with regards to fitness, training and even diet.
Through out this blog I am not going to tell you what the perfect training programme is or what the perfect exercise is or what the best foods are to eat because to put it simply the answer is not there and I believe that it never was.
I have found through years of experience that I absolutely 100% detest the gym and everything that goes along with it.
Close your eyes and picture the last time you were in the gym, enclosed in a room, sweating and breathing in everyone elses body odour and sneaky flatulence, you are knee deep in your 100th set of squats and there are dudes high fiving each other over at the dumbbell rack, the music is blaring out whatever nonsense the chart is bothering us with and there are the huge guys in the cut off tshirts sniggering at you because you are just simply not lifting a heavy enough weight. Sound good?
Now again close your eyes and picture the last time you went to a local park to do pull ups on the monkey bars, the last time you got on your bike and cycled through the country, the last time you hit the water with your surfboard and enjoyed the waves, the time that you decided to go a run along the beach or in the snow with your dog or that time when you thought it would be a great idea to climb that tree?
Do you remember the feeling of freedom, the feeling that you could not give a flying fuck about how many sets you had left or that you had to beat your friends personal best on the deadlift, the feeling of being outside and knowing that this is exercise but how could it be because I am outside and not talking shit about "feeling the pump"
What I have came to realise over the last few days is that exercise can have a way of taking over your life, you become obsessed with bench pressing more or learning to kick some ones ass in the ring or even to look like some dick from Jersey Shore to impress the ladies.
Now dont get me wrong looking good is a part of what we strive for when we exercise but we have become so obsessed with it that we have forgotten along the way that it is supposed to be fun and there is way more to life than slogging through the new routine that you found in Meat Head Weekly.
Really, what I am trying to say is that there are hundreds of ways to stay fit and looking good and it doesnt involve weight racks, Smith Machines or paying some douche bag personal trainer 40 pounds an hour to put you on a treadmill and tell you that you are now in the fat burning zone.
Maybe lifting weights so heavy that you shit yourself works for you but I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt it aint mine and over the course of this blog I think ill continue trying to find new ways of dodging gym memberships vultures and maybe do other stuff thats fun.
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